In the Operation Theatre

Today was my first time ever in the operation theatre and it was awesome! As the 4th year medical student I was to step into an O.T for the first time ever..very excited and yet nervous..didn't know what to expect...and afraid that I may just blackout (happened to me twice already when had to stand for long time for bedside lectures in wards).That would be really awkward and embarrassing.
 
To begin with, I didn't even know where the E.N.T ward was, I had the directions from my friend, but believe me Nishtar is huge! It is fairly possible to get lost in your way.So I thought to ask in the ward for clear directions again."Doctor sahab wahein ja rhe hain, app bhi saath chlaen jayen..." I was told .Fair enough, wouldn't get lost after all.

"So,Your first time?" ,Doctor sahab started a conversation on the way to O.T.
"yes, it is.."
"People get a syncope when they have the first time , your class fellow had one last time.."
Crap! Like that was what I wanted... a reminder of what I was already afraid of!

Well, with that conversation on horrifying syncope we reached the O.T.I was showed to the room where I got ready The cap, the mask , the gown...and I entered...

The sterilized air entered my lungs, and I knew I was there...the surgeons in green gowns the ventilators.monitors, the patient on the operation table inhaling anaesthesia and dosing off...wow!
Got instructed not to touch anything and took a spot near the operation table.

I could not help getting pictures from "Grey's Anatomy"in my mind, and comparing with the present scene
On a serious note, it was quite similar ,,,I admits it doesn't have that fancy tiling and it is very old but the sterillization  was proper ,the surgeons were very skilled in their approach and there was a lot to learn.

The tonsillectomy started ...my flashbacks of Grey's Anatomy passed away and I got focused on the surgery...wanted to step closer but didn't know if it was okay...my batch mates had not arrived yet either...and the anaesthesiologist said" why don't you position yourself here for the close look"
and yes...it was great I could see properly now...the tonsils...the snares cutting them down...the blood....as the first tonsil got removed...I thought" great I did not feel like fainting...that's a good sign"

And then It wasn't scary. it was so exciting all those procedure,the fact that all these patients would be okay after the surgery...the fact that now I actually started liking surgery as a speciality..been always interested in medicine,I thought maybe surgery would be a nice option too.

As I was done watching the tonsillectomy, done with asking questions,getting introduced to all the apparatus (very impressed with the polite way of teaching of all the doctors present) my batch mates entered..they sure were late.

We saw removal of fairly large nasal polyps ,( very amazed how big they were.no wonder the patient couldn't breath at all)f, biopsy endoscopy...fixing of deviated nasal septum, tracheostomy (life saving procedure but I am not quite a fan of it)and the most amazing mastoidectomy!

The longest, most precise procedure carried by senior doctor of the department and with awesome skill, I must say...drilling in to the ear canal, scrapping off the diseased part while conserving the  healthy, all at the distance of millimetres...the spectacular microscope to see everything inside the ear....that I must say was the best part...the 4th year students, the house jobians, the PGRs all gathered around trying to learn what they can...truly amazing.

 Finally, the last surgery ended.I stepped out of the operation theatre  tired of standing for so long but overwhelmed with my experience. Feeling the responsibility which comes with the profession I have chosen.Happy I made it through the day and now was even more in love with my future job.

Glad That it Hurts!!!

Pain..it hurts real bad.May it be the pain of betrayal , loss of a dear one, or failure in life.It feels awful and all we want to do in life is avoid pain.Avoid things that may hurt us, avoid people who may leave us heart broken.

However, the way I see pain is different. I am thankful to God that it hurts. It should hurt when your heart breaks, when you are back stabbed , it should hurt when it ought to.Because only if it hurts, it means we feel, it means we are alive.

So I am glad that it hurts.
.
Even happier for the fact that it aches when I see someone else in pain, it hurts to see them cry , it hurts to see them in agony, Because that tells me that MY SOUL IS ALIVE....my mind ,body and spirit is intact.It is only when I will feel the pain of someone  else , I'll be able to help them because then will I feel the necessity to do so.Only if i know how bad it feels.

So I am glad that it hurts.

In our journey of life,WE get inflicted by so many events and we sustain so many scars. One might look completely happy , contented and all together in one piece, but we all are humans, deep down we have scars which no one can see.

When I look at mines, I smile.Because they tell me that I survived.No matter how hard it was ,I am a warrior who fought valiantly and I won most of the battles and survived.Those scars make me who I am , They make me believe in myself,strengthen my faith in God and tell me that I truly lived.

I love my scars and am glad that it hurts.

The Day I was the Hero

In the college garden .Sitting on the grass, in the sunny, winter noon, I was sending photos by Bluetooth to my friend.Chatting and discussing how much fun we had earlier that day I noticed a creepy white headed shabby man ,I can bet he was on drugs (a charssi , how we say in urdu), eyeing us from a distance. My sixth sense told me its not quite right, with almost all college at the sports ground for the sports event, we must get going too. But my friend insisted we stay for a while.The next thing happened he was not there....I looked around and the person was at a close spot.... OK that was definitely fishy...we hurriedly got up and walked toward the bus...the bus will be moving in 5 mins...but uh oh..I slipped my hand in the pocket and "where's my mobile?"

So we go back to our spot  around 1 minute after we left that place...and its not there...
where it can go?
it was suppose to be there if it fell...
"Let me call on your number..."
" Yeah. that is a good idea"
I moved few paces and saw the same man ....starring back into my eyes....signalling to go to him..
."I'll definitely ignore that"...thought to myself.
but " tring tring ..Tring tring..."
"Crap!! he has my mobile!"

What should i do?
my mind was blabbing different things.
"I better let it go ...
It was a good set....My dad wouldn't get a nice one quite some time...what a laugh my siblings have at this for like ever.... There's so much data on it!!!!"
I had lost all hope of getting it back when a voice rang in my mind, "You know who has got it and yet you let it go?"

"NO I won't let it go!"my unconscious called in ....I went round the corner and got help...the the bus driver went all the way following him...chasing him around the buses around trees and snatched the cell phone and got it back....

Awesome!!!.I got my cellphone back!!!Not many get their phone back when its stolen....Might seem to be a small incident but took one heck out of me...

To me the driver was the hero....helped me straight away and was successful....but the following days,people saw me as a hero..
"You handled the situation so smartly..."
That was a brave thing to hang on...you could've let it go..."
"Kuch sungha deta tou....kidnapper hot a tou....very smart of you beta..." Got a lot of that stuff...
I enjoyed all that attention ,being the brave person and all...but what i know is that it was sheer luck.
   
 Similarly, I remember when my sister told her friend ran out and got help from the neighbours when the dacoits were at her house...being inly a child...she could've been shot ...but she didn't.
So is the story of the person who escaped with his bike when the dakoits had a pistol on his forehead....it was all luck that when he was playing smart , the opponent wasn't.
   
it is always luck...that makes you either a"THE HERO" or "A POOR SOUL"....
Its not very easy to make a right move when you are under pressure , scared and panicking  and yet if you are able to make the right move....I believe its fate...you were meant to survive it or maybe the prayers were answered.
But that does not make it very interesting,,, giving all credit to fate...nothing fancy about that...so we need a hero...so we will always have one....and we'll praise him.The hero always knows he was lucky but will still enjoy that little appreciation he gets..it'll be like that... 

Bridging the Generation Gap

                               


How many times have you tried to persuade your parents for something and it ended up in:

"Mom! its not what you think..."

or

"You will never understand...."

or just

"Never mind"

Or maybe it ended up with you shutting yourself up in the room for the entire day with you thinking that they would never understand.

This happens and happens a lot of times .And is a problem which always be there if you don't learn to tackle the situation well.(better than ending up in a row).
Your parents do belong to a different generation and things are a lot different from how they were at their times but it does not mean that they would not get it if only you try hard enough to explain.

The following are few things you should try, the next time you see generation gap coming in your way.

Listen
Do not just ask for what you want or state what your stance is. And if they don't agree , do not take it for granted that they would not understand. Listen to what they have got to say. What their concerns are.
Try to explain things and assure them that its what you want and is good for you.Listen to them patiently ,maybe you'll figure out wisdom in it.

Explain
They are a lot of new things and culture around these days. Maybe they are not familiar with them.Don't dismiss them by saying: "You wont get it" .Explain it, they will get it.They raised you, nothing could be more difficult than that.

Be patient
Be gentle, patient and polite with them even though if it take a lot of time to come to conclusion or maybe several sessions.One day your hard work might pay off.But if you lose your mind and confront your parents ...things can never work that way.

Put yourself in their position
Think how you would like to be approached if you were in their position. What could be their expectations and concerns.Then you would develop an understanding of their feelings which is important in strengthening your bond with them and developing trust.

Obey
Obedience can take you long way in life...believe me.Obey what they say in the end...parents appreciate that. They might get impressed with that and listen to you.if not maybe you will see  wisdom in it some day.


Hope these things can be helpful when next time generation gap tries to come between you and your parents.

A Letter to Ma!

When I came to this world, I cried. Scared of what was ahead, in this alien world, didn't know what to do so I cried.But then I saw a face.A face so gentle with expression so warm,a smile so affectionate telling me "It will be okay".
The way this angel wrapped me in her arms and pulled me closer to her so i could feel the warmth.. I started to trust that "i will be fine"
That face...that angel...was MY MOTHER!

 O Mother ! How can I thank you for all those nights you woke up for me. All that confidence you showed in me. When I would fall you would pick me up...Whenever I looked back you would always be there.When I would break into pieces you would fix me and put me together. When I got scared at night a sweet lullaby would take away the worries.... 

O Mother!I  can not tell you how much I love you, how much I care...I thank God that he made you my mother...without you I would have been nothing.

Love You always.....




like and share if you feel the same way about your mother!!!!

BEING HAPPY....

The ultimate goal of anything we do is to be happy.The career we chose, the achievements we get, the people we chose to be with,the trophies we gather....all are attempts to be happy. But is that really what happens? Once you achieve something you enjoy that moment and then an after _thought comes and you get critical of your success....or just move on to catch something else....and in this wild pursuit we get busy, tired and until the process is on ...you are anything but happy....

the happiness is a beautiful emotion which comes from within.It is a choice to make by yourself , no matter what situation is.No material thing can bring you to happiness.....happiness can be found in less, the same amount as you get in abundance....if only you learn to be thankful for everything you have' every second of your life and not to forget all those blessings when only one small thing goes wrong.

You can chose to suffer' or learn to be thankful' and stay happy....

Blessed are people who learn to be contented and be happy with what they get...they don't complain for things they want and don't get...they smile even when in distress....and find a reason to be happy in the deepest of despair.

So tomorrow when we wake up lets be happy because we want to be , no matter how imperfect our lives are :)