Friday, 21 December 2012

In the Operation Theatre




Today was my first time ever in the operation theatre and it was awesome! As the 4th year medical student I was to step into an O.T for the first time ever..very excited and yet nervous..didn't know what to expect...and afraid that I may just blackout (happened to me twice already when had to stand for long time for bedside lectures in wards).That would be really awkward and embarrassing.
 
To begin with, I didn't even know where the E.N.T ward was, I had the directions from my friend, but believe me Nishtar is huge! It is fairly possible to get lost in your way.So I thought to ask in the ward for clear directions again."Doctor sahab wahein ja rhe hain, app bhi saath chlaen jayen..." I was told .Fair enough, wouldn't get lost after all.

"So,Your first time?" ,Doctor sahab started a conversation on the way to O.T.
"yes, it is.."
"People get a syncope when they have the first time , your class fellow had one last time.."
Crap! Like that was what I wanted... a reminder of what I was already afraid of!

Well, with that conversation on horrifying syncope we reached the O.T.I was showed to the room where I got ready The cap, the mask , the gown...and I entered...

The sterilized air entered my lungs, and I knew I was there...the surgeons in green gowns the ventilators.monitors, the patient on the operation table inhaling anaesthesia and dosing off...wow!
Got instructed not to touch anything and took a spot near the operation table.

I could not help getting pictures from "Grey's Anatomy"in my mind, and comparing with the present scene
On a serious note, it was quite similar ,,,I admits it doesn't have that fancy tiling and it is very old but the sterillization  was proper ,the surgeons were very skilled in their approach and there was a lot to learn.

The tonsillectomy started ...my flashbacks of Grey's Anatomy passed away and I got focused on the surgery...wanted to step closer but didn't know if it was okay...my batch mates had not arrived yet either...and the anaesthesiologist said" why don't you position yourself here for the close look"
and yes...it was great I could see properly now...the tonsils...the snares cutting them down...the blood....as the first tonsil got removed...I thought" great I did not feel like fainting...that's a good sign"

And then It wasn't scary. it was so exciting all those procedure,the fact that all these patients would be okay after the surgery...the fact that now I actually started liking surgery as a speciality..been always interested in medicine,I thought maybe surgery would be a nice option too.

As I was done watching the tonsillectomy, done with asking questions,getting introduced to all the apparatus (very impressed with the polite way of teaching of all the doctors present) my batch mates entered..they sure were late.

We saw removal of fairly large nasal polyps ,( very amazed how big they were.no wonder the patient couldn't breath at all)f, biopsy endoscopy...fixing of deviated nasal septum, tracheostomy (life saving procedure but I am not quite a fan of it)and the most amazing mastoidectomy!

The longest, most precise procedure carried by senior doctor of the department and with awesome skill, I must say...drilling in to the ear canal, scrapping off the diseased part while conserving the  healthy, all at the distance of millimetres...the spectacular microscope to see everything inside the ear....that I must say was the best part...the 4th year students, the house jobians, the PGRs all gathered around trying to learn what they can...truly amazing.

 Finally, the last surgery ended.I stepped out of the operation theatre  tired of standing for so long but overwhelmed with my experience. Feeling the responsibility which comes with the profession I have chosen.Happy I made it through the day and now was even more in love with my future job.

Monday, 3 December 2012

Glad That it Hurts!!!



Pain..it hurts real bad.May it be the pain of betrayal , loss of a dear one, or failure in life.It feels awful and all we want to do in life is avoid pain.Avoid things that may hurt us, avoid people who may leave us heart broken.

However, the way I see pain is different. I am thankful to God that it hurts. It should hurt when your heart breaks, when you are back stabbed , it should hurt when it ought to.Because only if it hurts, it means we feel, it means we are alive.

So I am glad that it hurts.
.
Even happier for the fact that it aches when I see someone else in pain, it hurts to see them cry , it hurts to see them in agony, Because that tells me that MY SOUL IS ALIVE....my mind ,body and spirit is intact.It is only when I will feel the pain of someone  else , I'll be able to help them because then will I feel the necessity to do so.Only if i know how bad it feels.

So I am glad that it hurts.

In our journey of life,WE get inflicted by so many events and we sustain so many scars. One might look completely happy , contented and all together in one piece, but we all are humans, deep down we have scars which no one can see.

When I look at mines, I smile.Because they tell me that I survived.No matter how hard it was ,I am a warrior who fought valiantly and I won most of the battles and survived.Those scars make me who I am , They make me believe in myself,strengthen my faith in God and tell me that I truly lived.

I love my scars and am glad that it hurts.